Many feel that Wednesday is an unremarkable day stuck in the middle of the week but if you are looking for something to help relieve stress, make you laugh and get you through the week, you came to the right place. We think that when it comes to Wednesday quotes, funny ones are the best so we collected the best funny Wednesday quotes and funny Wednesday sayings.
Scroll on through to find your favorite quote.
Short Funny Wednesday Quotes for Instagram
“On Wednesdays we wear pink.” — Mean Girls
“Home may be where the heart is but it’s no place to spend Wednesday afternoon.” — Walker Percy
“Awake on Wednesday, They all complain but no one’s leaving.” — The Caulfields
“Wednesday can only dream of becoming Thursday.” — Anthony T. Hincks
“Life is really simple, but men insist on making it complicated.” — Confucius
“Trouble knocked at the door, but, hearing laughter, hurried away.” — Benjamin Franklin
“I would like to die on Mars. Just not on impact.” — Elon Musk
“I thought I was wrong once, but I was mistaken.” — H. Kyle Seale
“It will not be lonely on Wednesday when it has all around it.” — Anthony T. Hincks
“If you come to a fork in the road, take it.” — Yogi Berra
“The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.” — Will Rogers
“Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.” — Steven Wright
“I’m trying to elevate small talk to medium talk.” — Larry David
“A day without laughter is a day wasted.” – Charlie Chaplin
“If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.” — Derek Bok
“Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to shop.” — Gertrude Stein
“When all else fails, there’s always delusion.” — Conan O’Brien
“Different taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections.” — George Eliot
“It’s always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it’s just hilarious.” — Bill Hicks
“On Wednesday, when the sky is blue, and I have nothing else to do, I sometimes wonder if it’s true that who is what and what is who.” — Winnie the Pooh
“Waiting for Wednesday.” — Lisa Loeb
“A Wednesday with no rain is a dry hump day.” — Demetri Martin
“When a day that you happen to know is Wednesday starts off sounding like Sunday, there is something seriously wrong somewhere.” — John Wyndham
“Wednesdays are like Mondays in the middle of the week!” — Lee Fox Williams
“When people refer to ‘Back in the Day,’ it was a Wednesday. Just a little fun fact for you.” — Dane Cook
“If all our national holidays were observed on Wednesdays, we could wind up with nine-day weekends.” — George Carlin
“Elephants love Wednesday, and so will you.” — Anthony T. Hincks
“It was like trying to break up with the color orange, or Wednesday, or silent e. It was the most passionate and tumultuous relationship I’d ever known.” — Rob Sheffield
“Heaven knows the difference between Sunday morning and Wednesday afternoon.” — Max Lucado
If you like these, you might also want to check out our other lists of funny Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday quotes.
Funny Wednesday Morning Quotes
“The birds were singing and the sun was shining and suddenly this Wednesday morning actually felt alright.” — Danielle Poulin
“Everyone wants me to be a morning person. I could be one, only if morning began after noon.” ― Tony Smite
“The kind of Wednesday morning when you are wishing it was any other day.” — Jeannie Tisdale
“I wake up every morning at nine and grab for the morning paper. Then I look at the obituary page. If my name is not on it, I get up.” — Benjamin Franklin
“Birds scream at the top of their lungs in horrified hellish rage every morning at daybreak to warn us all of the truth, but sadly we don’t speak bird.” ― Kurt Cobain
“Morning is wonderful. Its only drawback is that it comes at such an inconvenient time of day.” — Glen Cook
“Good morning is a contradiction of terms.” — Jim Davis
“I hate when I dream of alarm clocks going off.” — Jarod Kintz
“I hate mornings, they start so early.” — Janet Evanovich
“Every single day I wake up and make up my mind that I am going to work really hard. Then my mind laughs at me and says ‘Good joke.’ Then we laugh for some more time and I go back to bed.” — Gehenna Toss
“When reality and dreams collide, typically it’s just your alarm clock going off.” — Crystal Woods
“I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake.” — Lewis Black
“Everyone wants me to be a morning person. I could be one, only if morning began after noon.” – Tony Smite
“Morning comes whether you set the alarm or not.” — Ursula Le Guin
“Some people wake up drowsy. Some people wake up energized. I wake up dead.” — James Marsden
“Mornings are pure evil from the pits of hell, which is why I don’t do them anymore.” ― Rachel Caine
“The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.” — Dorothy Parker
Funny Quotes for Wednesday
“Happy Wednesday! Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.” — William Shakespeare
“A good day is a day in which we manage to grow even a little bit and to move ahead at least one tiny step. When we stagnate, we lose ourselves and we lose endless chances. That is why a good Wednesday is a day when we did things and we did them well.” — Liza Hawkins
“Monday for wealth, Tuesday for health, Wednesday the best day of all. Thursday for crosses, Friday for losses, Saturday no luck at all.” — English Proverb
“What’s in a Wednesday? You! That’s who! Happy Wednesday.” — Anthony T. Hincks
“Simplicity makes me happy.” ― Alicia Keys
“Happy Wednesday Fam! Dream BIG, live courageously, communicate honestly, be mindful, act with kindness, and SPREAD LOVE TODAY and EVERY DAY!” — Tracey Edmonds
“Wednesdays will always bring smiles for the second half of the week.” — Anthony T. Hincks
“Be happy. It really annoys negative people.” ― Ricky Gervais
“If you want to be happy, be.” ― Leo Tolstoy
“Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.” ― Benjamin Franklin
“One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.” ― Rita Mae Brown
“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.” ― Oscar Wilde
“On Wednesday afternoons I could be practically anything.” — Kit Williams
Wednesday is the angel of the week because she balances the days evenly for us. Sun, Mon, Tues -Wednesday – Thu, Fri, Sat.” — Anthony T. Hincks.
“To some, it’s Hump Day. To us, it’s Wednesday’s getting its ass kicked and Thursday just asking Friday to switch places.” — Dwayne Johnson
“Wednesday is a day to help others celebrate life. You and only you are accountable for what you extend and give to others. One smile not only increases your value but it gives joy to each person you meet.” — Byron Pulsifer
“Wednesday will either make you or break you. Give it all you got this Wednesday!” — Catherine Pulsifer
“The abbreviated exam week meant that Wednesday was the last day of school for us. And all day long, it was hard not to walk around, thinking about the vastness of it all.” — John Green
“Don’t underestimate the value of Doing Nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can’t hear, and not bothering.” ― Winnie the Pooh
“A day without laughter is a day wasted.” ― Charlie Chaplin
“Do or do not. There is no try.” ― Yoda
“Nothing is impossible. The word itself says “I’m possible!”” ― Audrey Hepburn
“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.” ― A. A. Milne
“It’s okay to look at the past and the future. Just don’t stare.” – Benjamin Dover
“If you come to a fork in the road, take it.” ― Yogi Berra
“You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it.” — Robin Williams
“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing — that’s why we recommend it daily.” — Zig Ziglar
“It’s a long way coming down, The ladders in your eye, For a Wednesday in your garden.” — The Guess Who
“When Wednesday morning came the weather was very fine, And the sun in the heavens brightly did shine, And continued so all the live long day.” — William Topaz McGonagall
“There are more myths about Black Wednesday than the Greeks ever created.” — John Major
“If I love you Wednesday, What is that to you? I do not love you Thursday – so much is true.” — Edna St. Vincent Millay
“I think vestigially there’s a synesthete in me, but not like a real one who immediately knows what color Wednesday is.” — A. S. Byatt
“I do remember dreamy Wednesdays, In the rain creative pain.” — The Wannadies
“Fennel, which is the spice for Wednesdays, the day of averages, of middle-aged people. . . . Fennel. . . smelling of changes to come.” — Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni
“Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.” ― Ashleigh Brilliant
“Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.” ― Joan Crawford
“Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.” ― Steven Wright
“If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.” ― Lawrence Ferlinghetti
“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?” ― Robin Williams
“I became insane with long periods intervals of horrible sanity.” ― Edgar Allen Poe
“I am in full possession of the amazing power of being sarcastic.” ― Sarah Rees Brennan
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.” ― Drew Carey
“My job is to give people who work hard all week something to enjoy on Saturdays and Wednesdays.” — Arsene Wenger
“Wednesdays were the best thing about Atlantis. The middle of the week was a traditional holiday there. Everyone stopped work and celebrated the fact that half the week was over.” — Walter Moers
“Never schedule a board meeting on Wednesday because it kills two weekends.” — Kurt Vonnegut
“On Wednesday they’re feelin’ fine again, And they’re workin’ like a dog and diggin’ in.” — Johnny Cash
“Without hard work, nothing grows but weeds.” — Gordon B. Hinckley
“I’m a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it.” — Thomas Jefferson
“A lot of hard work is hidden behind nice things.” — Ralph Lauren
“Sunday just came down like a nine-pound hammer … it was tainted with the closing-in feeling of the loss of freedom. Because after the sun went down, it came back up on Monday morning. And you had to go to work five more days. And it sucked.” ― Larry Brown
“When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: ‘Whose?’” — Don Marquis
“Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.” — Will Rogers
“Give a man a fish, and you’ll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he’ll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you’re a consultant.” — Scott Adams
“An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field.” — Niels Bohr
“Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.” – Leslie Nielsen
“Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn’t be done.” — Sam Ewing
“Many of life’s failures are experiences by people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” — Thomas Edison
“The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the deadline approaches.” — Bove’s Theorem
“Find a job you like and you add five days to every week.” — H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Funny Quotes for Each Day of the Week
“So. Monday. We meet again. We will never be friends – but maybe we can move past our mutual enmity toward a more positive partnership.” – Julio Alexi Genao
“When life gives you Monday, dip it in glitter and sparkle all day.” – Ella Woodward
“The best weeks start on Monday.” – Nice Peter
“Don’t let a day of the week have so much power over your happiness. Happy Monday!” – Andrea L’Artiste
“If each day is a gift, I’d like to know where to return Mondays!” – John Wagner
“Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.” – Steven Wright
“Today I am doing better than yesterday, and tomorrow I hope to be doing better than I am today. And two days from now? Well, that’s a Monday, so I’ll be feeling sh*tty.” ― Jarod Kintz
“It can’t be Sunday every day. There are also Mondays and Tuesdays.” – George Weah
“Why does winter feel like one big Tuesday?” – Todd Stocker
“Tuesday is the most sensible day of the week.” – Emily P. Freeman
“Wednesdays are like Mondays in the middle of the week!” – Lee Fox Williams
“I wish you a tolerable Thursday. That’s all any of us can hope for.” – April Winchell
“Thursday is perhaps the worst day of the week. It’s nothing in itself; it just reminds you that the week has been going on too long” – Nicci French
“It was a sinking feeling, that feeling when you wake up thinking its Friday only to realize its Thursday.” – Danielle Poulin
“Happy Friday! Here’s to all of us who made it through another week of faking adulthood.” – Nanea Hoffman
“It’s 4:58 on Friday afternoon. Do you know where your margarita is?” ― Amy Neftzger
“Oh, my sweet Saturday, I have been waiting for you for six long days.” – Charmaine J. Forde
“I really need a day between Saturday and Sunday.” – Anna Scott
“Happiness is a hot bath on a Sunday afternoon.” – A.D. Posey
“The goal of Sunday is to leave my home as little as possible.” – Mark Morris
Funny Wednesday Sayings
“May your Wednesday feel like pancakes and coffee on a Saturday morning.”
“Wednesday: It’s almost, sorta, kinda, close to, about nearly the weekend.”
“Wednesday is like the middle finger of the week.”
“Wednesday means we’re halfway through half-assing our work for the week.”
“It’s Wednesday… or as I like to call it… “Day 3 of the hostage situation”
“Dear Wednesday: Are you sure you’re not Friday? Because I could really go for it being Friday. Nothing personal, it’s just been a long week”
“This is my ‘It’s only Wednesday’ face.”
“Nothing screws up your Friday like realizing it’s only Wednesday.”
“The real hump is spelling Wednesday.”
“POV: You just realized it’s Wednesday.”
“Alexa, play my Wednesday motivation playlist.”
“Wednesday. The most useless day. it only exists as a reminder that it’s been a really long week…and it’s still not over.”
“Wednesday: (‘wenzdei) noun: Still not Friday.”
And there you have it! We hope you found the best quote you were looking for.
Now get out there and enjoy your Wednesday!
Pin it for later!
About the Author
Laynni Locke
I am Laynni Locke, a Canadian writer, reader and traveller with a passion for sharing life’s moments on social media. Keeping friends and family in the loop of our lives though photos and videos has become an essential activity for most.
And it doesn’t matter if you are travelling, celebrating a special occasion or just appreciating day-to-day life, when you take that perfect photo you are going to need the perfect caption or quote before you share it. Which is why we started Routinely Shares, providing comprehensive lists of quotes and captions to cover every occasion, adventure or loved one.
With extensive experience as a travel writer, social media specialist and grant writer, I have made it my mission to curate the best and easiest to use lists for your next post.
