(It starts with Lincoln sleeping in his room, he wakes up and turns to the viewers.)
Lincoln: (to the viewers) Good Morning everyone. (sighs) Well, it’s time for me to survive yet another day in this hell-hole that is the Loud House. I’m one boy surrounded by ten girls. And I really would want to trade them for the world. Especially Lori, Lynn and Lola! Those three are just evil! One day, I’ll be old enough to move out of this dump, and far away from them as possible. Well, wish me luck.
(Lincoln gets dressed and steps out of his room, when Lynn comes up to him and kicks him for no good reason and laughs)
Lincoln: OW!! Lynn, why did you do that?!
Lynn: Uh, because it’s fun. (laughs and leaves Lincoln on the floor.)
Lincoln: (groans) See what I mean? (he gets up) Well, I’d better get some breakfast.
(Lincoln goes downstairs and gets some cereal from the pantry on the tippy top shelf. He gets a step stool to reach it and he manages to get the cereal. Just then Lola comes in and kicks the step stool away, making Lincoln trip and fall. He drops the cereal and Lola catches it.)
Lincoln: Lola! I was going to get that cereal!
Lola: Finders Keepers, Losers Weepers. (blows a raspberry and leaves)
Lincoln: (sighs) Well, I can always watch T.V.
(Lincoln is watching ARGGH!, when suddenly Lori comes in and picks up Lincoln and throws him off the couch.)
Lori: Beat it, Twerp. I have to watch my show.
Lincoln: Lori, I was here first! You can’t just kick me out!
Lori: (Grabs Lincoln by his shirt) Listen here, Twerp, I’m the oldest sibling, so I get whatever I want, and if you ever try to stand up to me again, I will literally turn you into human pretzel!
Lincoln: Wait, didn’t you only say that if you caught me in your room, I would be turned into a human pretzel?
Lori: I changed my mind. Now get out of here!
(She drops Lincoln and he thuds to the ground. He gets up and goes up to his room.)
Lincoln: Well, when all else fails, I can always read comic books in my room and in my underwear.
(Cuts to Lincoln reading comic books in his underwear in his room, when Lola comes in she looks horrified.)
Lola: (horrified) Lincoln, what are you doing?!
Lincoln: I’m, reading comics in my undies. Why do you ask?
Lola: (gasps in shock; furious) YOU, WILL, PAY FOR THIS!!!!
(She storms out and slams the door. Lincoln looks at the audience confused and shrugs. Cuts to the sisters in Lori and Leni’s room, for some weird reason. Lola bursts in.)
Lola: GIRLS! GIRLS! GIRLS!
Lori: What is it, Lola?
Lola: Lincoln’s done something unspeakable.
Lori, Leni, Luna, Luan, Lynn, Lucy, Lana, Lisa and Lily: What?
Lola: He was… Reading comic books… in his underwear!
(The other sisters gasp)
Leni: HOW COULD HE?!
Lucy: That monster.
Luna: Bro’s gone too far, dude!
Lori: That Twerp needs to pay.
Lola: I know, and I have the perfect plan: We’ll prank Lincoln by making him trip down the stairs, get covered in syrup and feathers, and we’ll film it all on camera and post it online.
Lori: It’s perfect! I’m in!
Lynn: So am I! I can’t wait to teach that wimp a lesson!
Luan: I love pranks, even if they go too far. I’ll help.
Lisa: I am incapable of having any feelings towards anyone or a sense of morality. I’ll go along with this charade.
Luna: Whoa, dudes, that seems like a little bit much.
Leni: I agree with Luna.
Lily: (in agreement) Poo-Poo!
(Lana and Lucy all say statements that they agree with Luna.)
Lola: But Lincoln was reading comic books in his underwear! He needs to be taught a lesson!
Luna: But what about Luan’s unspoken rule?
Luan: What unspoken rule?
Luna: That we should never post an embarrassing video of someone else one else without their permission?
Luan: Oh, that rule. Well, who cares about that rule anymore? That was only for one episode. Besides, Lincoln was reading comics in his underwear, we need to give him his comeuppance.
Lana: You know, Luan is right.
Lucy: I agree with Luan.
Luna: What the… You guys were just on our side a few minutes ago.
Lana: I know, but now, we’re on their side. Lucy and I flip from being nice to mean. That’s how it works.
Lily: Poo-Poo. (Translation: That doesn’t make sense.)
Lucy: I know it doesn’t, but that’s how it is.
Luna: (sighs) Okay dudes, they have us beat. Let’s do it.
Leni: Okay.
(Lily also agrees to do it. Cuts to Lincoln, who has finished reading his comic. When suddenly Lola bursts in.)
Lola: Lincoln! Lincoln! I need your help!
Lincoln: With what?
Lola: Come outside!
(Lincoln opens his door and walks outside, Lynn puts a basketball by the stairs, just as Lincoln comes near them he trips and falls down the stairs, then he accidentally breaks a wire, and that causes a bucket filled with syrup and feathers. The sisters come in and start laughing, even Luna, Leni and Lily, who’ve forgotten all about their previous concerns. Luan is holding a camera, revealing she taped the whole thing.)
Luan: (laughing) Best Prank ever! Sucka!
Lynn: That’s what you get for reading comic books in your underwear, Loser!
(The sisters laugh some more, this makes Lincoln really angry. He couldn’t take it anymore. There was nothing stopping him now.)
Lincoln: (yelling) ENOUGH!!!!!!
(The sisters all stop laughing and look at Lincoln, surprised.)
Lincoln: (still yelling) THAT’S IT! I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!! I’VE HAD IT WITH ALL OF YOU!! I GIVE THIS HOUSE THE BEST YEARS OF MY LIFE AND ALL I GET IS PAIN, HUMILIATION, AND 0 RESPECT!!
(The sisters look surprised)
Lincoln: (to Lori, Lola and Lynn) I would expect this from you, because you’re evil. (To Luan and Lisa) And you, because you guys are also evil, but not much. (to Lana and Lucy) And you two are both nice and evil (to Leni and Lily) But I can’t believe you two would do this, since your my 2nd and 3rd favorite/nice sisters, (To Luna) But I would never expect this from you! (voice breaking) You were my favorite and nicest sister, I put you above all the others! But now your just like all the rest!
(The sisters all look guilty)
Lori: Lincoln-
Lincoln: Shut it, Lori! (to all of the sisters) Well, since none of you love me, or appreciate me, I’m not going to stay here anymore! I’m gonna run away to another family, where they’ll actually appreciate me! (Lincoln goes up to his room and packs all of his stuff and come back downstairs to the door) Goodbye FOREVER!!
(Lincoln runs out the door, crying angrily and sadly. The sisters still look guilty.
Rita: Ahem!
(Just then Rita and Lynn Sr. appear out of nowhere, much like Lucy. The girls scream.)
Lori: How long have you guys been standing there?
Rita: (sternly) Long enough.
Lynn Sr.: We’re very disappointed in you girls! Treating our favorite son like that!
Lori: He’s your only son.
Lynn Sr.: That doesn’t matter! What matters is that you drove him away!
Rita: And because of this, you are all grounded for (insert however long you want Lincoln’s sisters to be grounded for.)
(The parents walk off. The sisters still look guilty)
Luan: What have we done?
Lana: This all our fault. But mostly, Lori, Lola and Lynn’s fault.
Lori, Lynn and Lola: Us? Why?!
Lana: Because, you’re the evil sisters. Duh.
Luna: Dudes, I feel the most guilty. I’m his nicest sister AND his guardian!
Lori: Guardian? Since when has that ever been established?
Luna: It’s way too complicated for you to understand.
Lucy: Guys, I have something to confess. I was the one who clogged the toilet that one time. Lincoln took the blame for me so, I wouldn’t be made fun of by you guys.
Lori: And you felt the need to tell us this, because…
Lucy: To justify that Lincoln is God for how much he suffers because of us.
Leni: You’re right! I miss Linky! We have to go and find him!
(The sisters all agree and set out to find Lincoln. Meanwhile Lincoln is out on the sidewalk.)
Lincoln: Stupid sisters. I’ll find a better place to live. (Gets an idea) I know! I’ll go live with Clyde, because he’s my best friend!
(Cuts to Lincoln knocking on the door to the McBride residence. Clyde and his dads open it.)
Clyde: Hey, Lincoln! What’s up?
Lincoln: Clyde, can I live with you and your dads from now on?
Howard: Why?
Lincoln: Because I cannot live with my sisters anymore! They are the worst!
Clyde: Really? That’s terrible (without giving any thought or consideration to Lincoln’s family) Well, Okay Lincoln. You can stay here.
Howard and Harold: Yes you can!
Lincoln: Thank you, and please don’t tell my sisters that I’m here. Or they’ll come looking for me.
McBrides: OK. You can count on us!
(Cuts to the sisters still looking for Lincoln.)
Lynn: Ugh! We’ve looked everywhere! He’s just gone!
(Just then Lori gets a call on her phone. She answers it.)
Bobby: (stern) Lori.
Lori: Boo-Boo Bear?
Bobby: Don’t “Boo-Boo Bear” me! I know what you did to Lincoln!
Lori: (gawks) HOW?!
Bobby: Are you kidding me? When it comes to you, I know everything.
Lori: (laughs nervously) Uh, yeah, I can explain!
Bobby: You don’t need to explain anything Lori! We’re breaking up!
Lori: WHAT?! WHY?!?
Bobby: You don’t deserve to be my girlfriend after what you did to Lincoln! Goodbye! (hangs up)
Lori: Bobby? Bobby? (starts crying) BOO-BOO BEAR!!
Lana: Where could Lincoln be?
Leni: Maybe he’s at Clyde’s house. (Points to the McBride residence)
(The other sisters facepalm)
Lynn: Why didn’t we think of that before?! It’s so obvious!
(The sisters go over to Clyde’s House. Lincoln and Clyde are playing video games, when they hear the door. Clyde checks who it is and finds out the sisters are knocking on the door.)
Clyde: Oh no! Lincoln! Your sisters are here! You gotta hide!
(Lincoln does so, as Clyde opens the door)
Lynn: Hey, Clyde do you know where Lincoln is?
Clyde: Well, he’s definitely not here.
Lincoln: (coming out from his hiding place; angry) OK, I give up. Here I am.
Sisters: LINCOLN!!!
(They rush to give him a hug, but he stops them dead in their tracks)
Lincoln: Not so fast! I’ll return to the Loud House, but don’t think it changes anything still going between us! (grabs his things and heads out the door; to Clyde) Thanks, Clyde. (leaves and the sisters follow him.)
(Once they get home Lincoln turns to faces his sisters.)
Lincoln: I just want you girls to know, I still don’t like living here, and I still don’t like you!
Luan: Oh come on! We’ve had good times together.
Lincoln: We have had nothing of the sort.
Lori: What about that time we made you a trophy?
Lincoln: Nope!
Lana: What about that time we helped you with your school project?
Lincoln: No!
Lucy: What about the time we helped you get that comic book entered in that contest?
Lincoln: No way!
(The sisters all start listing all the times they’ve been nice to Lincoln and helped him out, but he dismisses them all or says they never happened. He then gives this speech on how he’s such a great guy and how he gets treated like dirt every single day. He then lists all the times the sisters have been mean to him, and he talks about the Sister Fight Protocol incident and the Bad Luck Incident the most.)
Lincoln: Now I’m going to my room! And don’t any of you follow me!
(Lincoln marches up to his room, but Lola starts following him)
Lola: Linky, please forgive us.
Lincoln: I SAID DON’T FOLLOW ME!
(He punches Lola so hard, he knocks out some of her teeth sends her falling down the stairs, and blood starts to seep from her mouth. The sisters all look shocked and terrified.)
Lori: L-Lincoln? W-What did you just do?
Lincoln: (To Lori) Oh, you want some, too?
(He goes up to Lori and hits her with a baseball bat, which knocks her out. The sisters gasp in terror again.)
Lynn: How are you doing that?
Lincoln: (Smirks) I’ll show you.
(He goes up to Lynn a delivers a punch so hard, it makes her fly through the window.)
Lincoln: Anyone else want some?! (The sisters all shake their heads in fear.) That’s what I thought.
(Lincoln goes up to his room and slams the door.)
Luan: Oh no! This is bad!
Lisa: Agreed. This bad percentage of this is 100%.
Leni: What do we do?! I don’t want Linky to stay like this forever!
Luna: (gasps) I’ve got an idea.
(The sisters all huddle up and Luna explains the plan. Later Lincoln in his room ready to go to sleep, when suddenly he hears a knock on his door.)
Lincoln: Don’t make me get the bat again!
Luna: (off-screen) Bro, it’s us. Leni, Luna and Lily.
Lincoln: Oh, well if it’s you three come in.
(The 3 girls do just that)
Luna: Look, bro, we just want to say that we’re really sorry for everything.
Leni: Even if the others hate you, we love you Linky and we really hope you can forgive us.
Lily: Poo-Poo.
Lincoln: Well… I forgive you.
Leni, Luna and Lily: Really?
Lincoln: Yep, because you 3 are the best sisters. Well, Leni and Lily, you’re almost the best sisters, but Luna is definitely the best sister and my guardian and I love her the most.
Luna: Thanks, lil bro.
Lincoln: No problem big sis.
(Luna and Lincoln hug. Leni and Lily join in on the hug, but also feel a little jealous.)
Leni: Also, can we sleep in your room tonight?
Lincoln: Sure. I’d be glad to have my favorite sister and my semi-favorite sisters sleep with me tonight.
(Leni, Luna and Lily get into bed with Lincoln and they fall asleep)
THE NEXT DAY
(Lincoln wakes up to see that Leni, Luna and Lily are all gone. He looks around to see if he can find them. Just then there’s a knock on the door.)
Lincoln: Come in.
(All ten of Lincoln’s sisters come in, Lola is in hospital bed on wheels, Lori’s face is covered in bandages, and Lynn has crutches, Luna is carrying a breakfast plate with Lincoln’s name on it.)
Luna: Morning bro! We made you breakfast in bed. (places it on Lincoln’s lap.)
Lincoln: Whoa.
Luan: And we got you a new Ace Savvy video game! (pulls out said video game.)
Lincoln: Wow, guys. You’re doing this all for me? Why?
Luan: To apologize for being mean to you all those times.
Lana: And even though you left the house without saying where you were going and injured Lori, Lynn and Lola, really badly, and yelled at us a lot. What we did was far worse.
Lisa: Yes all we do is ask for your forgiveness, oh great brother.
(The sisters all start bowing down to Lincoln.)
Sisters: All hail St. Lincoln. All hail St. Lincoln. All hail St. Lincoln. All hail St. Lincoln.
Lincoln: (sigh) Now this is more like it. It’s OK girls, I forgive you.
(The sisters all cheer and hug Lincoln.)
Lincoln: I love you girls.
Sisters: We love you too, Lincoln.
Lincoln: Oh, by the way, where are mom and dad?
Lori: Oh, they don’t appear in this scene. They only exist when any of us need to get punished. Remember?
Lincoln: Oh. Right.
THE END
Author's note[]
Hey guys. This was surprisingly easy to write. This was inspired by twoYouTube videos "Thomas Goes Too Fast" by MagicLampStudios and "An Average Day for Thomas" by DieselD199, and "Every the Loud House fanfiction ever" by TakeBackTheFalls. This is a parody of the fanfics we seemed to have back in the day. You really don't need to remember a lot about the Loud House to write something like this. I hope you guys enjoyed it!
